As a caregiver, think about all the tasks and challenges you face. How would you treat someone who does what you do and bears what you bear? Most likely, you would be gracious and compassionate.

Yet, all too many caregivers don’t extend grace and compassion to themselves. Judging ourselves, often without mercy, on our performance—we regularly berate ourselves for our failures. If we are judge ourselves on our performance record, then we should be fair and equally judge ourselves on our attendance record. Since you keep showing up, that record remains flawless. Fixing whatever impairments your loved one lives with cannot be the goal. No matter how hard we try, we will still repeatedly make mistakes and come up short.

Being there, however, remains your most important contribution.

“If you love deeply, you’re going to get hurt badly. But it’s still worth it.” ― C.S. Lewis