Dear Leslie:

Sometimes anger is warranted.  If your anger is directed at an impaired loved one’s behavior, however, your anger can be futile.  How do you get angry with a disease?  In cases where your loved one is behaving poorly and even inappropriately, try to detach from it and realize they’re often-times not doing it to you—they’re just doing it.  When the anger hits you, take a moment to breathe:  four seconds in, eight seconds out.  Drink some water, take a walk, and practice responding not reacting.  Your peace of mind is just that:  yours. No one can take it from you, but you do have the power to give it away.